


When Home Becomes a Prison

by katsumi_ym (Katsumi27)



Series: The Seijou Pack [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-12 21:25:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17475257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katsumi27/pseuds/katsumi_ym
Summary: Hajime and Tooru both come from a large, influential, and very traditional pack. Tooru is an Alpha and is on a track to success within the pack.When Hajime suddenly goes into heat in the middle of volleyball practice, Tooru and the rest of the pack are witness to his immediate and intense panic and dysphoria. Knowing what awaits Hajime in this pack, Tooru must quickly come up with a plan to protect Hajime and ensure his independence, even if Hajime isn't completely onboard.(Implied but not explicit: Heat, Gender Dysphoria)[This story is currently being reconstructed and will be re-posted]





	1. What Must be Done

_It's that steady and unwavering gaze. So sure. So confident. In himself, and in you._

_It's the words 'I trust you' - stated clearly and forcefully - that weigh more than anything you've ever held and yet free you of everything that once tied you down._

_It's those eyes that stare through all the walls you've built up over the years, that still sees the small crybaby hiding inside._

_It's that, despite everything, he still follows behind you with such loyalty, that it makes you believe it too._

_"You'll make an amazing leader, Tooru."_

* * *

Looking back now, those words feel like an omen. Tooru can't shake the strange suspicion that nags at the back of his mind whenever he thinks back on it. Hajime had--  has all the makings of a leader. Name and status aside, Hajime would have made a  better leader. And yet, he had always followed behind Tooru, without question. 

_It should have been you_ , Tooru can't say.

_I would have followed you_ , would be downright irresponsible to voice.

_I'm scared_ , is what he should have said. But it's too late for that. Besides, Hajime probably knew it anyway.

"I believe I have made my intentions clear, elders. As soon as Hajime's heat subsides, I will be taking him as a mate."

* * *

For the first time in years, Tooru sits on Hajime's living-room floor with his head bowed.

"My deepest apologies for springing this on you so suddenly. I'm afraid, I saw no other alternative."

_I'm afraid._

"Oh, Tooru. What do you intend to do? You know we appreciate you wanting to protect Hajime, but going through this will disrupt everything you've been working so hard towards. I'm sure Hajime will be okay. He'll have to adjust but--"

"With all due respect," Tooru interrupts and looks up at the woman he considers his second mother, silently adding yet another thing to the list of apologies he owes Hajime.

"Iwa-mama...I'm sorry but I don't think you understand. I was there when... when it started. Iwa-chan, Hajime is  **not** an omega. This is not something he will adjust to, ever. And in  this pack , he isn't safe."

* * *

The Iwaizumis accept Tooru's proposal formally that same week, before Hajime wakes from his heat-induced haze. Tooru insists on being the one to explain it to him, so he stops by every evening to check on him. The evening Hajime's mother confirms he's nearly out of heat, Tooru stays.

At first, Hajime refuses to open the door for him, mortified beyond measure. Unfortunately, Tooru doesn't have the luxury of time anymore.

Tooru forces his way inside, cornering Hajime in his own room. His heart breaks at the sight of his best friend staring at him in panic. Tooru sits on the floor, much like he had a few days ago in the living-room. 

"Iwa-chan.  _Hajime_ . I am here to apologize. I did something without your permission that will probably piss you off. But even if you are angry-- even if you  _hate_ me for it, I can't-- I  won't take it back. So, I'm sorry."

Perhaps it's the shock of seeing Tooru apologizing so earnestly, but all the panic and shame Hajime was feeling begins to dissipate, giving way to confusion, disbelief, and anger with nowhere to go. 

"What dumb shit did you do this time, Shittykawa?" His voice is hoarse. 

Hajime's anger fades too when he notices Tooru's hands, tight fists in his lap, shaking. 

The panic starts coming back.

"Tooru... Look at me. What did you  **do** ? Does it have something to do with-- with my--"

Hajime thinks he's going to be sick. Tooru quickly speaks up.

"You lost consciousness while we were still in the gym. I brought you back here to your parents and left. That's not... That's not what this is about."

"After that," Tooru continues, "I went to the elders."

Tooru swallows visibly. His shoulders are shaking, and despite everything,  Hajime desperately wants to comfort him.

"We are officially engaged as of three days ago. I convinced your parents to sign the papers. It's too late to do anything about it."

The look in Tooru's eyes when he finally looks up answers all the questions at the tip of his tongue. Hajime is in turmoil, but Tooru has laid it all to rest. It's too late to do anything about it.

"I had to protect you."


	2. The Worst Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru puts his plan fully into motion, now with Hajime's reluctant help. They manage to get through the ceremony, and Tooru continues to climb his way up the social ladder, but at a great cost.

Two weeks pass before Hajime agrees to let Tooru back into his room. 

During those two weeks, Hajime rips up most of his old schoolwork that his mother had accumulated over the years. It's the first time Hajime can remember having so much anger and no-one to direct it at, nothing to funnel it into. He can't even leave his house without people stopping him to ask things that made  _no sense_ . His parents try to give him space but the worried glances stab at him anyway. When Tooru walks in after two weeks of this, Hajime is nearly ready to pummel him, yell at him until he loses his voice, but that doesn't happen. The shameful and apologetic Tooru that sat on the floor of his room two weeks ago was gone. This Tooru had no time for that. It was time to move on.

"We don't have time for this Hajime," he says, looking around at the destruction.  "The ceremony is in a week and we need to practice. The less prepared we seem, the more questions they can throw at us."

"I know that! Can't we have just like two seconds to fucking  _talk_ about what happened? This isn't even your fight, but you went and started this shit without me. And then you come here and try to lecture me?"

"You were the one that locked me out for two weeks--"

"What was I supposed to do? I needed time. I  _need_ time. Tooru, my  _whole world_ just got flipped upside-down. Tell me, what am I supposed to do?"

Tooru takes a deep and measured breath, and finally takes a seat at Hajime's desk. Now that Hajime has stopped yelling, he notices that Tooru looks exhausted.

"First, you become my mate. Then, I'll figure out our next steps. Until then, it's pointless to even think abou--"

Hajime growls, "You're not listening to me, god-damn-it. This is  _my_ problem, why are you the one deciding everything?"

"Because, you trusted me to lead," is his simple and immediate answer. "So I did. And I did what I had to do in order to protect you."

"Tooru, I am  **not** \--"

"I know. I  **know** . You're my best friend, you think I didn't realize that? You're ten times tougher than I am, you always have been. Just the fact that we're able to sit down and talk like this after what happened is proof enough. You're more of an alpha than I'll ever be, but I'm still the leader, and I'm going to get us out of this mess in one piece, I promise."

* * *

They meet for dinner at the Iwaizumi residence several times that week. Tooru looks increasingly exhausted but no one dares comment on it, not when they know it's all for Hajime's sake. 

But after dinner, when Tooru and Hajime climb up on the roof to look at the stars, Hajime lets Tooru use his arm as a pillow while they talk. Hajime scolds him for overworking like always, then thanks him for doing it anyway, and asks him what he can do to help.

So they rehearse. They get their stories straight. They discuss everything from body language to PDA in social situations. Bizarre conversations they would rather not have, but Tooru guides them through the topics methodically, and even takes notes. An entire night is dedicated to the topic of bonding and marking. It's a difficult topic, but they make it through that one too, in one piece.

Tooru sleeps over those evenings, too exhausted to even try to make it home. Hajime watches him sometimes, increasingly frustrated with his own inability to do anything in this situation, but he swallows it down because he knows it won't help.

* * *

The ceremony is perfect. Or, as perfect as a sudden, rushed, and wholly unexpected mating ceremony can be. The two of them have always been close so the match isn't the hot topic of the night. Instead, no one seems to be able to hold their tongue about Hajime's shocking presentation. That night is harder on Hajime than the past month has been on Tooru.

Nothing really changes after that, except for the mark. Hajime slowly wraps his head around the new role he must play, rehearsing with Tooru into the night. Hajime is able to get back to his every-day life, and Tooru continues working himself to death.

Dinners at Hajime's house turn into late nights where Hajime has to practically force-feed Tooru something before he passes out for the few hours of rest he can afford. Hajime decides that  _this_ is the worst part of it all.


	3. Where We Stand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After dinner one evening, Hajime and Tooru retreat to Hajime's room to rlax.  
> Tooru checks in with Hajime to see how he's doing.  
> Hajime isn't sure about the timing, but he needs to say the truth out loud.
> 
> Warnings for: gender & body dysphoria (in relation to ABO genders)

“Alright you two,” Hajime’s mother smiles at the boys as she stands to clear the table, “go on upstairs and get some rest. I’ll finish up here.”

Tooru jumps to his feet and does his best to stack up all the plates before she can. He ignores her protests and instead carries them to the kitchen for her, making pleasant conversation on the way and thanking her for the delicious meal. 

Hajime turns to his father to comment, but he stands from the table and moves over to the couch without a word. Hajime sighs and moves toward the staircase where he waits for Tooru. A minute later, Tooru walks out of the kitchen with his mouth open in mid-laugh. 

“She kicked you out, didn’t she?” Hajime asks with a small smirk. 

“She never lets me help!”

“Idiot.”

Normally, the two of them would climb out Hajime’s window onto the roof after dinner, staring up at the stars as the town grew silent. It was a reminder of the simpler days of their childhood. It never failed to remind Hajime of the way Tooru could talk for hours about aliens and how they were sure to come kidnap _him_ in particular for one reason or another. These evenings, there was less talk about aliens and Tooru could rarely keep his eyes open longer than a few minutes.

In his room, Hajime heads for the window, but Tooru lets himself fall loudly onto Hajime’s bed with a long sigh.

Hajime pauses in front of the window, “Tired?” 

“Mm,” is the only response.

Hajime latches the window shut. He climbs onto the bed, settles on the corner graciously left open for him by Tooru & his long limbs, and leans against the cold wall. 

No one says anything for a while. After a few minutes Hajime looks over and expects Tooru to be asleep, but instead finds him staring up at him.

“What?”

“How are you doing?”

Hajime freezes, then looks away with a huff. Tooru just waits. He considers not answering. How was he supposed to answer that? But he knows that Tooru is serious, and he knows he should talk about it. He just figured that they would wait until things were… stable.

“It’s weird. All of it. My— My body, my senses, my _parents_.”

“Have you…” _Talked about it?_

“No. _How?_ We don’t talk about it. They don’t— I think they’re scared to. They don’t understand, but how are they going to understand me if they don’t talk to me? If they don’t _ask_?”

“Right.” Tooru pulls himself up to sit next to Hajime, slumped against the wall. “But that goes for me too, doesn’t it?”

Hajime looks at him, brow furrowed. What was he talking about?

“I did… all this,” he waves his hand around, “but I never asked you. Anything.”

“There hasn’t been much time,” Hajime tries, but it sounds like Tooru’s excuse, not his.

“No, but there’s this. There’s now.”

“You want to get into this _now_?”

“I want… I want to understand. I _think_ I understand. I’ve been by your side for years, I like to think I understand you pretty well. But… I want to make sure.”

Hajime pauses, “You’re probably going to fall asleep in the middle of it.”

“Probably.”

“Asshole.”

“Mm.”

* * *

 

Tooru is resting his head on Hajime’s lap. It’s quite nice and a treat he doesn’t get often. He’s not sure why he’s being allowed to do it now.

The first thing Hajime says is, “Thank you.”

Tooru tries to protest, “That’s not what this is—”

“I know. But, you were right… to do what you did. I was in no shape to make decisions myself, and honestly this is a hundred times better to have to deal with than what _they_ would have done.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath and Tooru closes his eyes, trying to trap whatever he was feeling. He senses Hajime staring but ignores it. This wasn’t about him.

“I’m sorry I threw you out when you told me.”

Tooru laughs and wipes at his eyes, “So mean, Iwa-chan!,” he complains. “But I can’t blame you for that. I _did_ kind of break into your room first.”

“Asshole.”

Tooru grins up at him.

After a beat of silence, Hajime continues, “I don’t really know how but, when you told me that day that you _knew_ , I believed you. We just… haven’t actually put it in words yet. I haven’t.”

“Do you want me to ask you?”

“No.” The response is immediate, “I should say it.”

Tooru tries to sit up but is pushed back down by a hand to his forehead. He gives up and closes his eyes instead. 

“When I… went into heat, it just felt so _wrong_. I remember panicking, fighting it—” Hajime takes a deep, steadying breath, “I fought it really hard, but I couldn’t do anything. I don’t even remember leaving the gym. I just remember—”

Tooru reaches out and blindly takes Hajime’s hand in his. 

“I remember _burning_. I was on fire, I thought it would kill me. And the— the _disgusting_ — It was hell. It _is_ hell. I can still feel it, it’s not even over. It’s like it’s still happening. My whole body is just—”

Tooru feels a tear land on his face and opens his eyes again. He squeezes Hajime’s hand and feels him squeeze back. 

They breathe for a moment.

“I feel like my body betrayed me. And sometimes, I just want to tear it apart. I want it all to stop. I just want to go back to how it was before. Being unpresented was at least better than this. _Anything_ would be better than this.”

This time, when Tooru sits up, Hajime doesn’t stop him. He gets up on his knees and turns towards his closest friend, his cherished partner, and now — at least formally — his _mate_.

Hajime meets his eyes, and stares at him with an intensity Tooru hasn’t seen in the past few weeks. 

“I am,” Hajime swallows. Tooru doesn’t dare look away. “I am **not** an Omega. I’m not. I’m NOT—”

Tooru leans forward and embraces him tightly as Hajime takes several deep breaths and tries to keep himself together. Tooru’s chest aches for him. “You’re not an Omega,” he repeats in Hajime’s ear. He feels Hajime freeze, then relax. 

“I’m not,” he repeats, more softly, but more sure. 

“Iwa-chan. Hajime,” Tooru holds on. “Tell me. What are you?”

“I’m me,” his voice cracks, “I’m what I’ve always _been_.”

“I know.” And he does.

“I’m an _Alpha_.”

  
Hajime was an Alpha.


	4. UPDATE

Hey Readers,

I just wanted to let you all know that I have gone back to the drawing board with this story.   
I still plan on continuing it, but I wanted to refocus myself and give it another go so I can do it justice.

If you have read this little story and have enjoyed it, please let me know in the comments; let me know what about this was most important to you.

Thank you!  
\- Katsumi


End file.
